Monkey See, Monkey Do

First off, if you haven't already, please read my previous post and then read the comment by my bestie Ryan Smart. He is amazing and if he is your friend, you are lucky. And because of him, I've decided not to dye my hair red.

Second. I had an experience at church yesterday that was either an eye opener, or a slap in the face. I can't decide which one yet.

I was sitting in Sacrament with Gavin. Only Gavin. (Kyle stayed home with the baby doll and Roman wandered off to sit with my in-laws.) And in our ward newsletter, the last page was a fun little questionaire that you were supposed to fill out as a family, just for fun. There were questions like, what is the strangest thing you've ever eaten? Or, if you could invite a famous person to dinner, who would it be? (A Kardashian, duh!)... kidding, kind of.

But, the last question was "If your friends went to a movie that you didn't want to see, what would you do?" And Gavin took a minute and thought really hard about this question. All these thoughts were running through my head about how profound his answer would be. Then, Gavin looked up at me and said, "I don't know. Probably just go with them, I guess."............ FAIL. Totally not the answer I wanted, or expected out of Gavin.

Then, a good friend of mine got up and bore her testimony. It was FANTASTIC. She said something that I will never forget. She said, "I worked really hard for my testimony." ...

After hearing that, I realized how different people are. There are some who have a testimony that was simply rooted in them. It's not that they didn't work for it, but they just don't have to work as hard to believe. It just comes naturally. Others have to struggle and fight inner battles in order to grow. And, don't get me wrong. I believe you can be a part of both. Like myself. I have a strong testimony that I was just born with. But I have also worked really hard to strengthen it and keep it. And, after hearing my friend say it that way, I understood how precious her testimony was to her, and how hard she worked to get it.

My next thought was, how can I get my kids to have a strong testimony? I believe that some people are naturally born leaders. You know, the strong, type A personalities. I haven't decided with Roman yet, but I'm pretty sure if his friends jumped off a cliff, he would jump higher and further than all of his friends, just to prove he could. But Gavin, I KNOW was born a leader. Now, its up to me to teach him to use that for good. How can I teach him to be self assured enough to make good decisions WITH, and FOR his friends? Because, we all know that friends are pretty much the determining factor of your kids living the gospel, or smoking weed. I'm pretty sure there is no real answer to my questions, other than to raise your kids in the gospel and hope for the best. But sometimes, just hoping is scary.

My parents raised 3 stubborn and strong willed children. Yet, somehow, we overall made all the right decisions that landed us all with strong testimonies. But as stubborn as we all are, there is a mercy that comes through the gospel. There is a time and a place to be a strong willed leader, but even the strong willed need to be followers of Christ.

If I can teach this to my kids, I think they will be just fine. But for right now, I need to have a chat with Gavin about going to movies with friends.